Out Of The Box-Worthy

How many boxes make up a life? Looking around my dining room, I see bits and pieces of a life I used to have. Wine Glasses & Santa S&P (Salt & Pepper Shakers) declares one box. Palm Pilot, Music Box, Decorate Plates says another. A third is labelled "Misc Stuff I can't bare to part with". Pieces of my childhood reside in there. Graphic Novels - Sandman, LeStat, et al rests on top of it.

There are at least two that are called "Misc from bedroom floor", and two more threatening "To Be Filed 2002". I'm going to need a filing cabinet before I dare break the seal on those. They are safely ensconced in packing tape & cardboard right now, so I don't have to deal with them. "Photos and photo albums rest by a dresser. Pictures and craft items from basket in small bedroom" and "Embroidery from the computer room" surround it. Paintings and mirrors hide in the corner, along with my great grandparents wedding certificate (a beautiful piece about 18" x 25", from 1902).

I kind of live here now. I have magnets on my refrigerator, TP in the bathroom, wine in the cupboard, and books on the shelves. I've bought a few more things which will make this feel much more livable - another shelving unit for the bathroom for towels, storage containers for cat food & shelves for the kitchen cupboards to give me more usable space. I've even slept here a few times, although the bed has yet to arrive.

It was supposed to be delivered Saturday, but the manufacturer shipped the wrong size. I have an antique mahogany bed frame which requires a full - it used to be the standard, now it's an odd size. Some mattresses don't even come in Full anymore. They wanted to "upgrade" me for free to a Queen, complete with a free Maple bed frame. I hated to explain that my bedroom set is a family heirloom, an antique, part of a four piece matching set, and worth at least eight grand. I don't think they really want to give me an upgrade to that. It'll be another two weeks for the Full, and they're giving me a discount instead. I'll take it.

As I settle into my home, I'm settling into my relationship as well. We have the oddest little things in common, which I love. We went camping recently, and he asked me how I like my marshmallows. I'm not really a lightly toasted kinda girl.....I prefer mine black and flaming. So does he. :) We both have spent over a year in a body cast. We share metal allergies. We were both raised in a rather different environment, away from television, and the popular media. We've both gone a long time between relationships. We both come from families where our parents had a significant age difference, the same as he and I, and our parents are/were both happily married.

We have our differences, of course. I understand *that* he loves mountain climbing, yet don't understand why. The more he describes it (with a cheerful smile and the warm glow of enthusiasm), the less I understand the appeal. There's a condition called HAPE - High Altitude Pulmonary something, where people's lungs explode like Rice Krispies - Snap, Crackle & Pop. It has something to do with the change in pressure, and you can literally hear pieces of their lungs bursting. And in the same breath where he is describing this, he'll talk about his dream of climbing Denali......a mountain high enough where they do research on HAPE because they are guaranteed a few cases a year of volunteer victims to study. I shake my head quietly, yet it is partially this kind of passion that is why I love this man.

It's not often a man can say he didn't notice I was short....I'm only five foot tall, yet the strength & magnitude of my personality were such that I actually had to point out to him that I'm little. He likes my laugh, my moxie, and my minor obsession with nail polish. In fact, my laugh was the first thing he noticed about me. We're really a good match, and have already talked about where we're headed and what we want out of life, and our relationship.

It's hard to put a label on that, yet I feel like we're unpacking the relationship the same way I'm unpacking boxes.....the more it opens up, the more it expands. His mother really likes me, and he's warned her to expect me to be around a long time. We talked about this the other night, and we're both pretty comfortable that we're likely headed towards marriage.

It seems funny to say that after only two months of dating, and yet - it's not a desperate, urgent feeling. It's just as if I've read the ending of the story, and am now going back through the opening chapters to see how we got there.

--BT

My Home Away From Home

Daydreams of leisure and relaxation seduce me while I add to my to-do list.

I stopped by my place today, and took care of a few small things - changed the light bulb out front, put the cabinet together that goes behind/over the toilet, ripped the tags off a bath mat & throw rug. I put wine & ketchup in the fridge, and washed a few counter tops down. I found a lamp (but no shade), and put a bulb in it. I now have light in my bedroom. I cannot yet eat or shower there, still need a mattress, went shopping for a filing cabinet & bookcase (but came home with nothing). The other day, I took the plastic wrap off some of the furniture, dwelling on the beauty that has been hidden in storage for well over a year.

It is my home......yet I don't live there. Yet.

As I wander around, I see things I mean to take care of - some of which I've been meaning to take care of for nigh on seven years. The light in the kitchen is cracked, and ugly. There's a problem with the seal around the bathtub, and I don't know if it involves just grout & elbow grease or licensed, bonded professionals who make 5x what I do. There's a soft spot nearby that will probably involve ripping flooring up & hopefully not needing to replace sub flooring. The rickety creak just *sounds* expensive, which means it will probably have to wait.

I used to have towel racks in the bathroom, and a water purifier on the kitchen sink. I don't know where they disappeared to, or who exactly was responsible for the disappearance. Little mysteries await me at every turn. "Didn't there used to be.....", I wonder. The cupboards are different than what I remember, but they must be the same. I never did put curtains up the first time. I believe I shall rectify that oversight this time.

My to-do list is growing by the day - I need to find the piano bench. It must be in storage. And a tuner - it doesn't sound as good as it did when I was a child.....I'm guessing my father hadn't had it tuned since before my mother became ill, and that's pushing 15-20 years. Because of that, I'll probably have to have 4-5 tunings before it's back to normal. Pianos are delicate instruments, and you can't just force them back into shape. It's like going to a chiropractor - they do small adjustments so as not to overstress you with change. That's what I need - a chiropractor for the piano. Does my insurance cover that??

A microwave would be useful. I need a throw-rug for the entry way. And dining room chairs. I inherited chairs, but they are worn out, in need of repair - repairs I once priced out at $1800. Ouch. I have better ways to spend that kind of money. A wine cabinet. Book case. Lateral File. A television set? Perhaps. I have a DVD player I discovered....it was in a dresser drawer, along with a feather pillow and a Mariner Moose. Very strange - I thought I gave all my electronics away.

As I search for things I need, I am reminded of the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally.....not the Deli "I'll have what she's having" one, but early on when Meg Ryan orders pie as they travel to New York.

"Sally: I'd like the chef salad please with oil and vinegar on the side, and the apple pie a la mode.
Waitress: Chef and apple a la mode.
Sally: But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of the can, then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally: No, just the pie, but then not heated."

I know what I want. I'm even willing to be flexible within reason....I just don't know if I can get it. My kitchen is very small, and floor space is at a premium. I don't have a pantry, so garbage & recycling will have to sit out. But the kitchen is at the crossroads of the entire place......I don't want my whole place looking like & smelling like garbage! I *love* this, but Jesus H Christ - it's a hundred and sixty nine dollars!!!! I've found other things would would be 'okay', but nothing that really solves the issue I have...and I'm not ready to spend two hundred bucks on a TRASH bin. *sigh* But I'm also not willing to throw away $15 on one that doesn't do what I need. I don't want much - I just want what I want.

I need a piece of wood for the sliding glass door, to "lock" it in place when I put the cat door in. I'm so looking forward to my cat becoming more independent - where I can put food & water out, and let him wander out on the back porch at his leisure. I don't know if I kept my chimes or not. I may find them in a box one day. I've already found things I'd forgotten about. I'd like a nice little chair to sit out on the porch and read, inhaling the scent of rhododendrons and wisteria, D'Artagnon rolling at my feet.

Slowly, but surely, my home away from home is being born. For now I live here instead of there, and dream of things to come.

--BT

The Ten Thousand Dollar Day

Thursday turned out to be a super productive, extremely expensive day. There aren't many days that I can honestly say I spent ten grand, and was happy about it. Heck there aren't many days I can say that, period!

The Painters: Two days. That's all it took. They came in on Wednesday, and by Thursday afternoon they were headed out to go fishing. Gotta love motivation like that. The place looks *fabulous*!! I cannot state that often enough. While I'm quite certain I could have done it cheaper myself, the results would have reflected that. Nothing really stands up to the professional, and that's what makes them worth paying for.

The Movers: Yay!! My stuff has arrived!! I haven't spent quality time with my furniture in over a year. I was so happy to see my Chinese screen that I kissed it. Now, they weren't the fastest guys on the planet, but it worked. They picked things up in early May, and by request, waited to deliver it until early June. Took them 2 and a half hours to unload & put everything into a 10 x 10 storage unit. I am fortunate that I can take a three hour lunch, without taking too much of a hit at work. Now, if I could just get the carpet guys to come out, I'd be able to move in.

The Bike: Hot chick on a hot bike. *lol* That's what one of my co-workers said when he saw what I'd purchased. Of course, then he got nervous that he'd offended me. You know the whole work, sexual harassment, can't say Boo. I'm like - hey, it was a compliment! Can't get much better than that! Damn!

So what did I get? It's a 2006 Midnight Black Buell Blast motorcycle, with only 197 miles on it. However, unlike many sport bikes, this is not a lean-over, crotch rocket style bike. It's got the styling of one, but rider positioning is more like a cruiser. I really thought about getting the white one, but it was an '03 (with only 300 miles on it) for the same price as the '06.

I have not yet had the pleasure of riding it though. The dealer did some prep to it, and so we went to pick it up today. My friend rode it home for me, but until I have insurance on it, I'm going to hold off on putting it on the road. But I had to laugh as I'm following him back to my place......not that I'm planning to, but if I were to accidentally hit my own bike, while driving his car, would that be covered under my insurance as uninsured motorist, since the bike was uninsured, but I *am* insured for any car I drive? Sheesh - this sounds like one of those math questions "If two trains left New York..."

Slowly, but surely the pieces are falling into place. Expensive pieces, to be sure, but money well spent.

Thanks, Dad.

--BT

Slough

I've always liked this word - it's magic to me. To shed or cast off the past, and start fresh. It's a fascinating form of rejuvenation. Like a snake shedding its skin, we slough off the parts of our lives that we have outgrown, slipping off the clothing that doesn't fit anymore.

I'm at that point it seems- where one cycle ends and another begins, moving back to the first home I purchased nearly a decade ago. And oddly enough, I'm back working for a new version of the company I worked for back then. But it only looks the same. I've changed, and my life has changed in a myriad of ways.

And now I start the physical renewal process called remodeling. New paint, new carpet, updating things here and there, adjusting, meddling, tampering with the little pieces of reality that form the four walls of my sanctuary. I've been in limbo for over a year.....living with my brother, my things in storage, my life on hold. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting....

I feel like I can hardly catch my breath, that I can't get enough air, now that the waiting is almost over. My stuff is en route. I have the carpet picked out. I know what I want to do, and I want it done *yesterday*. I'm ready. Ready to take action. Ready to be done with it all. Ready to start fresh.

But I can't.....I still have endings to finish, things to do, pieces of deadwood from my life to be sloughed off.

Maybe tomorrow.