The Midnight Hour And Beyond

There's something about the midnight hour and beyond which is made for rearranging furniture. It seems like my To-Do list is filled with things that need to get done, and is interrupted occasionally by bursts of late night spontaneous combustion. Where does life fall on your Things To Do list?

Last night I came home about 10:30pm with the intention of going to bed which I did.....eventually. But not before 5am. Around midnight I decided to put together the bookcase which has been occupying the middle of my living room since the middle of September - obviously a high priority project that couldn't wait any longer. God only knows why.

It was a mostly quiet endeavor that went fairly smoothly. The rhythm and excitement of watching it come together overshadowed the hour, making me forget it was the middle of the night. That is, until I was about 40 nails in to a 50 nail project of putting the back on it, and it occurred to me that *POUNDPOUNDPOUNDPOUNDPOUND* is probably NOT what my neighbor wanted to hear at 1am. But as I only had 10 more nails to go, I said to hell with it, and finished the job.

Of course, with a new six foot tall, five shelf, Harvest Cherry bookcase birthed into existence, I couldn't simply lay down and go to sleep, now could I??? Of course not. Eight boxes, and four hours later, I had unearthed, unloaded, unpacked and uncovered enough books to fill this bookcase and another one. (Except....I don't *have* another one. Let me put that on my to-do list) Iris Johansen, Dorothy Gilman, Agathie Christie, Arturo Perez-Reverte, Clive Cussler, Dick Francis, JK Rowling all rose up to greet me. Books in French goes over there. Journals, both virgin and experienced, went into the closet. Racy stuff stays in the bedroom, but let's not put the unread books on a low shelf or they shall remain unread.

Why do I have two copies of HP and the Half-Blood Prince? In hardback? I found two of my three copies of The Golden Hawk by Frank Yerby. What's hiding behind my computer desk - oh THERE are the books I bought at the Friends of Seattle sale. Tucked into a black file were books I brought with me from Florida. Little boxes dated 11/2005 remind me how much of my reading tastes I shared with my father. Seeing my books finally come into the light is like finally catching my breath after a hard run. The words soothe my nerves even from behind their jagged, worn covers. I know they are there, and for now, that's enough. I need that, especially now.

I am at a cross-roads of sorts right now. I have been looking for a roommate for a number of months now, with no success. The few people I've had respond to me were unsuitable for a variety of reasons, some scary, others just didn't fit. Even the ones I met decided against me/my place for their own reasons. Financially I'm in a downward spiral. I cannot afford to continue living the way I'm living - SOMETHING has got to change in the next 4-6 months or I will be in dire straights.

Since the universe has not seen fit to send a suitable roommate my way, I need to look at other options. I recently was promoted, which increased my income.....but not enough to compensate for the negative cash flow I have going on. So, what are my choices from here?

Influxes of cash: Bonuses, a 2nd job, tax returns. These would all be good, but all would be a temporary band aid on the problem. I've done the 60 hour weeks before, and it was hell. I've just been promoted 2 months ago, so another promotion is not likely in the next 4-6 months. A roommate would be better as it would be a continuous source of money which would not require a heavy commitment of time on my part.

Reducing my expenses: This is the area I'm looking at now. My main issue is that the gap is big......about $1000 a month, which I'm currently supplementing out of savings. So again, small measures will help, but reducing my grocery bill by $50 is really nothing compared to the issue at hand.

I think where this is leading me is to refinancing my home and cashing out some of my equity to pay off debts. That is really the only option that is going to have a significant enough effect on my income/outgo to make a difference, other than a roommate. I really did NOT want to do this, as I would like to sell my home in a year and a half or two years and don't want to be sucking equity out of my home prior to doing so. But neither do I want to foreclose or sell prematurely (and pay Capital Gains).

I have a nice place. It's freshly painted, brand new carpet. The room available is big - eleven by thirteen - so I find it really odd that no one wants to move in. It's really quite charming here, especially now. As summer slipped past, the leaves are changing and what little warmth we had has faded into my favorite season. I love the smells of Autumn - the winds that send the birds away, burning leaves and the warmth & spice of harvest time. The cool crisp days bite back a little like a Granny Smith Apple, and I'm torn still about whether or not to fully occupy my home. Do I take over the 2nd bedroom and commit to the path of refinancing, or do I keep it reserved for someone interesting to come into my life? Decisions, decisions.

I've had a number of great roommates in the past, and have maintained friendships with quite a few. One married what became my best friend. Another is still a close friend over a decade later, whom I see weekly at pool league. A third still keeps in touch, and helps me practice my French. Still another texts me intermittently with updates on her life.

So yes, while there is a strong financial incentive, a roommate for me is more than just business. It has brought some interesting people and experiences into my life, and I love that. My loan officer isn't going to poach a fish in the dishwasher or teach me how to play pool. I tend to be a loner and a homebody, so it also provides human interaction within the walls of my sanctuary.

One big obstacle to refinancing is the paperwork involved. I have been living in limbo for two years, with financial papers drifting into whatever corner became most convenient. I have a filing cabinet now, and have been working on getting things organized, but as of now - they are still a mess. I still have two tax returns that need to be filed, but the paperwork is, uhm, somewhere. Or rather, everywhere. I'm missing documents, and have several areas of question as well on how to handle certain things. They both involve refunds, so penalties aren't the issue - it's just gathering it all together and getting it done. THAT is easier said than done.

Many of the steps towards that goal are items on my To-Do list, and many have gotten done.....getting a filing cabinet, buying rails, finding files, gathering unread mail. Sometimes I feel as if my To-Do list is never ending, but I am making progress, slowly but surely.

I know I could do both refi & get a roommate, and perhaps that is the lesson here....we'll see. For now, I am trying to do the little things that I can do to prepare - filing, sorting paperwork, unpacking boxes and clearing space to breathe....and leaving the 2nd bedroom available for now.

Getting the bookcase together may seem counter-productive, but clearing eight boxes of books out of my bedroom frees up mental energy as well as space. I try to remember that when I wake up at 3am with an urgent desire to rearrange furniture. I don't always understand WHY it needs to be done at that hour, but I'm sure it won't be the last.

I'm a night owl by nature, and I love the strength and solitude that comes with the midnight hour and beyond. The disturbances of the daylight hours are silenced by laws and by nature - solicitors are home in bed, and acquaintances think twice before coming to call. These hours are reserved for more important things in life - a time for sleep, for love and romance, for reading and quiet conversations, and taking care of things that need to get done.

As always, I look forward to the Midnight Hour and beyond....but for tonight, I hope all it brings me is sleep. The furniture, I hope, can wait until tomorrow.

--BT