One of the credos of CERT is "The greatest good for the greatest number of people", so some of the choices they teach are seemingly the anthithesis of what you might expect from the people who respond when you call 911. For example, don't waste time performing CPR. The logic behind this is that
- if it takes 5 days for an ambulance to arrive, you can't physically do it.
- if there are two rescue workers and 200 potential victims, you can't leave 199 of them stranded while you concentrate on one person.
- even if you spend just 1 minute with each person, it will take you FOUR HOURS to touch base with everyone. You simply don't have time to spare for time-consuming aid.
- if CERT people are engaged, it's because the crisis is severe enough that the REAL emergency responders can't handle the load. You may be all they've got as far as 'help' for days or even weeks.
- Rescuer safety is #1 - even more than the people you're trying to rescue.....because if YOU become a victim, who is left to help?
It's been a fascinating class, and we just finished week 7 of 8 tonight. We've gone over triage, light search & rescue, disaster psychology, disaster first aid, and fire extinguishers. Yes, we got to play with real fire, and fire extinguishers - that was my favorite part. We even had a practice night with pretend victims who were impaled with glass & screw drivers, amputated limbs, bloodied up, and even dead. Well, fake dead, of course. We didn't borrow anyone from the morgue. We just imported local school children and a makeup artist. Next week is the final, where we get to put all of our newfound knowledge to the test.
So is it any wonder I'm dreaming about this stuff?
In the dream, I'm a passenger on an airplane that has run into trouble. This probably came up from the two long discussion we had at work about the Mythbusters story over whether or not an airplane on a treadmill would take off if it reached lift speed. I still say no way, despite the fact that Mythbusters apparently made it work. It's not the speed but the wind under the wings that makes it take off, and just as you don't get a breeze when YOU'RE on a treadmill, why would the airplane?? It just doesn't make sense!!!
So anyway, there I was - one of a hundred and some people on an airplane when there was a jarring sensation - as if we hit something or there was an explosion under the plane. Whatever it was, it was enough that the oxygen masks came down, and most of the people did as they were supposed to, placing the masks on themselves first. But something was in the oxygen that instead made most people become unconscious.
The pilot opened the cockpit door, and fell down as if having a heart attack. The co-pilot was dead. (My dream didn't identify a cause of death - he just sort of didn't exist anymore in that dream logic that makes sense of nonsense). There were 7 of us who were still conscious and calm: Me, a flight attendant, a blind guy (and his dog), a little old lady, a doctor, a pregnant lady and an 8 year old boy. There were others who were awake, but not rational - either from panic or the oxygen masks.
Other than the Captain, there were two licensed pilots on board - the doctor and the 8 year old. Lovely. Here's where my CERT training kicked in. (yeah, right). The Captain & the pregnant lady needed the services of the doctor. The flight attendant acted as his nurse. The older lady herded all the younger ones to the back of the plane where she kept them occupied. The blind guy and his dog handled security, keeping the rest of the people calm & orderly. That left me and the kid to fly the plane.
So here I am, internally freaking, and outwardly calm, giving a report to the Air Traffic Controllers. We've got 7 green, 21 yellow, 2 black and 130 red. (Black means dead - I don't know who the other casualty was). However, most of the red would probably be green if they were conscious. Next, letting them know that I had never flown a plane before, and my co-pilot, while licensed on small aircraft, was somewhat underage. Meet Billy. Then asking if they have anyone handy who would be interested in giving me a free flying lession.....and if we could skip straight to "landing", that would be grand.
Billy and I talked for quite a while, basically turning it into a grand adventure so as to keep our minds off the freakish circumstances that caused us to be there. Just think when you go back to school, and they ask what you did on YOUR summer vacation. "I landed a 747" wins the coolest kid on the block contest for at least a week or two.
When it was all over, I hurled. I guess all that adrenaline had to go somewhere, but you'd think in a dream that could invent a circumstance where I've got an 8 year old copilot and a seeing eye dog as head of security, could give me a more graceful denouement.
--BT
