Loose Ends

I do not know how to slack. Jesus. Procrastinate? THAT I'm really good at, but I tend to do it by getting busy at something else. I've been varying degrees of sick since a week ago Monday. Many of those days all I have had the energy to do is drink a glass of water and go back to bed. I slept 17 hours on Friday, 15 hours on Saturday. I think I've gotten at least an extra 30 hours of sleep this week.

I spent four hours at the doctor's office yesterday for them to shrug their shoulders and say "you're ill". Uhm, yeah, I knew that - thanks. Seems I have pneumonia, so they took X-rays, gave me a breathing treatment, gave me antibiotics, which *have* helped, although I'm still more sick than well.

However, each day there has been a few hours in which the planets aligned, and I had the right combination of food, water, drugs, rest and sunshine so that I actually felt all right. Not great, but okay. During those times, knowing how fleeting they were, I have strived to get things done.

Over the last week, I made it to Costco, to the DS Support Group meeting, introduced my brother to my bf's brother (job opportunity), finally got some pears from Harry & David, and got my software program back online (which involved organizing five people to move a server into a secured area, get it back online & bring the program up - that took DAYS). Sorted mail, organized some filing, finished two books that had been partially read for over a year, and did a PILE of dishes. And I'm annoyed that I don't have the energy to finish the laundry tonight.

This morning I laid on the couch, fully intending to stay there all day, and got up after about fifteen minutes because I was bored. I even logged into email and did some stuff for work.

And then the hands of the clock move like a guillotine, and my energy comes to a dead stop. Plonk! I just want to face plant into a feather pillow and forget the world exists.

My bf is actually going to have Friday night off.....the first in many months, and we're both hoping that we feel well enough to do something besides take a nap together. We laughed at that - what an exciting couple we've become. We're practicing how to be old married people.

There's just too much to do for me to enjoy doing nothing. Everywhere I look there are things to do - I want to live in France. I want to take dance lessons. I want to organize my kitchen. I want to get better at playing the piano. I have unused vouchers for tickets on Continental Airlines. My carpet needs to be vacuumed. The trash needs to go out. I have email to answer, and research to do. I have a presentation on Friday, and have things I *should* have done this week for work - but I didn't have enough neurons firing to do them.

How can I slack when I have French Flash cards, a cat, and a bookcase full of books beckoning me?

I think it's time for another nap.

Clean House

I don't know how anyone ever keeps a clean house. It seems like "clean" is a state that lasts for about two microseconds, and then quickly degrades back to "lived in".

It seems like I spend hours going through things, putting away things, finding places for small treasures, and redoing the same chores over and over and over again - dishes, laundry, countertops, taking trash & recycling out. Last weekend, I cleaned the bathroom top to bottom, and mopped all the floors. Took out two loads of trash, cooked, cleaned and sorted until 3am. You'd think at some point I would get ahead....even if only for a minute.

My kitchen counter is a magnet for the avant garde of miscellani. Two hugging bear salt & pepper shakers, a 'so ugly it's cute' old japanese cream & sugar holder gilded, painted, and shaped like birds. Two cups I bought in Mexico, an old magnetic poetry calendar, the 80 proof remains of a bottle of sherry - shaped like an elephant no less. The dining room table is the same - though less artistic, and more practical. Pens, paper, things I've sold on ebay, coupons, books.

I emptied a box tonight which has been on my bedroom floor since I moved in. Mostly French books/notes and photographs. I cleaned out my wallet. I sorted out items to be mended & altered. More laundry - two loads down, one to go.

Tomorrow, it's errands. I have:

Rite Aid/Bartell's/Office Depot: CDR's (they all have sales on them)
Linens & Things/Bed, Bath & Beyond: Bath Pillow & Mesh Laundry Bag
Super Supplements: Calcium Citrate
Target: Broiler Pan
Costco: Shredded Cheese, Cheese Slices, OatMeal for a co-worker, and Premier Protein drinks if they have them (they haven't the last half dozen trips)
Tailor: Mending & Alterations
1/2 Price Books: Trade in Books/VHS Tapes
Mail HSA Paperwork
Drycleaner: Quilt
Work: Get the 2 frozen meals I left behind before the cleaning crew throws them away

Oh, and in my copious spare time, a chiropractor appointment.

How do you people do all this AND raise kids? Or work two jobs? Or spend time with *anyone*? For that matter, how do you even have time to watch TV?

I'm going to bed. Perhaps the magic "errand" fairy will stop by tonight and cross everything off my To Do list. Well, I can dream, can't I??

--BT

That Didn't Go As Planned

I'm in that lull, the letdown after the holidays. I ended up spending several hours on a mind-numbingly boring task this afternoon. I'm alone today - tried to reach my best friend who is supposed to be back in town, but no answer. I haven't talked to my bf since I kissed him goodbye this morning on the way to work. That's not unusual, he works a lot - but I've been seriously missing him lately.....and one day of his company only serves to me make miss him more.

We had a brief but serious talk last night....one of those mood killer 'we need to talk' conversations, and despite the fact that things did need to get said, I was bummed that our evening went that direction. We had a good four hours to spend together, and instead of launching into a wonderful evening of love and romance, we sat quietly on the couch holding each other while I tried to keep from crying.

Then today I reached a friend who has been trying to reach me for most of the last day and a half. She's coming into town over President's Weekend.....a weekend I already plan to be out of town. I told her "of all the weekends....". I told her what my plans are, and oddly enough, she's all excited to come with! Now I certainly don't mind friends joining me that weekend - in fact, I've invited people to join me almost every year that I've gone. But still, I couldn't believe it - of all the people I know, she's the LAST person I would have thought to invite.

This perhaps explains how and why I invited an alcoholic on a wine-tasting tour. *wince*

Seriously. That didn't go as planned.

(She's recovered & sober over ten years, and she loves the beauty of the wine country.....plus she's offered to be designated driver. )