I do not know how to slack. Jesus. Procrastinate? THAT I'm really good at, but I tend to do it by getting busy at something else. I've been varying degrees of sick since a week ago Monday. Many of those days all I have had the energy to do is drink a glass of water and go back to bed. I slept 17 hours on Friday, 15 hours on Saturday. I think I've gotten at least an extra 30 hours of sleep this week.
I spent four hours at the doctor's office yesterday for them to shrug their shoulders and say "you're ill". Uhm, yeah, I knew that - thanks. Seems I have pneumonia, so they took X-rays, gave me a breathing treatment, gave me antibiotics, which *have* helped, although I'm still more sick than well.
However, each day there has been a few hours in which the planets aligned, and I had the right combination of food, water, drugs, rest and sunshine so that I actually felt all right. Not great, but okay. During those times, knowing how fleeting they were, I have strived to get things done.
Over the last week, I made it to Costco, to the DS Support Group meeting, introduced my brother to my bf's brother (job opportunity), finally got some pears from Harry & David, and got my software program back online (which involved organizing five people to move a server into a secured area, get it back online & bring the program up - that took DAYS). Sorted mail, organized some filing, finished two books that had been partially read for over a year, and did a PILE of dishes. And I'm annoyed that I don't have the energy to finish the laundry tonight.
This morning I laid on the couch, fully intending to stay there all day, and got up after about fifteen minutes because I was bored. I even logged into email and did some stuff for work.
And then the hands of the clock move like a guillotine, and my energy comes to a dead stop. Plonk! I just want to face plant into a feather pillow and forget the world exists.
My bf is actually going to have Friday night off.....the first in many months, and we're both hoping that we feel well enough to do something besides take a nap together. We laughed at that - what an exciting couple we've become. We're practicing how to be old married people.
There's just too much to do for me to enjoy doing nothing. Everywhere I look there are things to do - I want to live in France. I want to take dance lessons. I want to organize my kitchen. I want to get better at playing the piano. I have unused vouchers for tickets on Continental Airlines. My carpet needs to be vacuumed. The trash needs to go out. I have email to answer, and research to do. I have a presentation on Friday, and have things I *should* have done this week for work - but I didn't have enough neurons firing to do them.
How can I slack when I have French Flash cards, a cat, and a bookcase full of books beckoning me?
I think it's time for another nap.
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Grounded
If you could see my kitchen, you'd see candy bars (full size) in one cupboard, mega size pudding cups above it, a half gallon of Peppermint Ice Cream in the freezer, and soft chewy caramels on the light apple green CD storage box on the counter. On top of the fridge are two bags of chips - Cheetos Twisters and Lays potato chips. Last night, I had a half rack of ribs and fried shrimp from TGIFridays. Today it was mac & cheese, with a bacon cheeseburger and pumpkin cheesecake for lunch. Not exactly the portrait of a woman on a diet.
So I find it strange that I've lost ten pounds over the course of the last six months. I know what it's from - two years ago I had weight loss surgery, but I really thought I was done. I started buying better clothes, because I figured I would stay that size, yet I find I'm shrinking again.
As of this morning, I weighed 142.4 lbs, and I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around it. For over a decade, I weighed around 240, so I keep (mentally) wanted to make that first digit a 2. The last time I was about this weight was JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL - I'm regressing in age, and it's a little disconcerting.
This evening I realized that I am only FOUR pounds away from a magical number - I'll literally be half my old weight. I once was 277, and in 4 more pounds, I'll have LOST 138.5 lbs and WEIGH 138.5 lbs.
What's funny is that I once worried that I wouldn't feel *solid* or grounded at a normal weight.....like somehow gravity would release its hold on me a little, and I'd have trouble sticking to the ground. Yet I'm here, as much earth bound as I've always been, with no temptation to blow away in a stiff breeze.
I'm home alone tonight - me and the cat, and I'm rather content to stay here. I've got laundry going in the other room, and books to catch up on. Earlier this afternoon, my brother and I went for a delightful ride - down Novelty Hill Road, over to Cherry Hill area. The weather is warm for this time of year, and the skies were cloudy, but cooperative.
We ended up riding past the Nestle Regional Training Center, which always makes me laugh. It's out in farm country, nestled in a curve along a meandering road with quite a view of nature. There's not a hotel or other business for miles! Who are they training, and where do they come from? How the heck are they supposed to find this place out in the middle of nowhere? I'm just picturing a treasure map with a big X on it!
My boyfriend is on nights for a month, which he is most definitely NOT accustomed to, so he's home sleeping. Makes me laugh - I worked graveyard for about fifteen years, and loved it. But not everyone is cut out for it. He stares at me in disbelief when I tell him that I once waited a year and a half for a graveyard position to open up!
My laundry is done, and so am I - for now.
--BT
So I find it strange that I've lost ten pounds over the course of the last six months. I know what it's from - two years ago I had weight loss surgery, but I really thought I was done. I started buying better clothes, because I figured I would stay that size, yet I find I'm shrinking again.
As of this morning, I weighed 142.4 lbs, and I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around it. For over a decade, I weighed around 240, so I keep (mentally) wanted to make that first digit a 2. The last time I was about this weight was JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL - I'm regressing in age, and it's a little disconcerting.
This evening I realized that I am only FOUR pounds away from a magical number - I'll literally be half my old weight. I once was 277, and in 4 more pounds, I'll have LOST 138.5 lbs and WEIGH 138.5 lbs.
What's funny is that I once worried that I wouldn't feel *solid* or grounded at a normal weight.....like somehow gravity would release its hold on me a little, and I'd have trouble sticking to the ground. Yet I'm here, as much earth bound as I've always been, with no temptation to blow away in a stiff breeze.
I'm home alone tonight - me and the cat, and I'm rather content to stay here. I've got laundry going in the other room, and books to catch up on. Earlier this afternoon, my brother and I went for a delightful ride - down Novelty Hill Road, over to Cherry Hill area. The weather is warm for this time of year, and the skies were cloudy, but cooperative.
We ended up riding past the Nestle Regional Training Center, which always makes me laugh. It's out in farm country, nestled in a curve along a meandering road with quite a view of nature. There's not a hotel or other business for miles! Who are they training, and where do they come from? How the heck are they supposed to find this place out in the middle of nowhere? I'm just picturing a treasure map with a big X on it!
My boyfriend is on nights for a month, which he is most definitely NOT accustomed to, so he's home sleeping. Makes me laugh - I worked graveyard for about fifteen years, and loved it. But not everyone is cut out for it. He stares at me in disbelief when I tell him that I once waited a year and a half for a graveyard position to open up!
My laundry is done, and so am I - for now.
--BT
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Out Of The Box-Worthy
How many boxes make up a life? Looking around my dining room, I see bits and pieces of a life I used to have. Wine Glasses & Santa S&P (Salt & Pepper Shakers) declares one box. Palm Pilot, Music Box, Decorate Plates says another. A third is labelled "Misc Stuff I can't bare to part with". Pieces of my childhood reside in there. Graphic Novels - Sandman, LeStat, et al rests on top of it.
There are at least two that are called "Misc from bedroom floor", and two more threatening "To Be Filed 2002". I'm going to need a filing cabinet before I dare break the seal on those. They are safely ensconced in packing tape & cardboard right now, so I don't have to deal with them. "Photos and photo albums rest by a dresser. Pictures and craft items from basket in small bedroom" and "Embroidery from the computer room" surround it. Paintings and mirrors hide in the corner, along with my great grandparents wedding certificate (a beautiful piece about 18" x 25", from 1902).
I kind of live here now. I have magnets on my refrigerator, TP in the bathroom, wine in the cupboard, and books on the shelves. I've bought a few more things which will make this feel much more livable - another shelving unit for the bathroom for towels, storage containers for cat food & shelves for the kitchen cupboards to give me more usable space. I've even slept here a few times, although the bed has yet to arrive.
It was supposed to be delivered Saturday, but the manufacturer shipped the wrong size. I have an antique mahogany bed frame which requires a full - it used to be the standard, now it's an odd size. Some mattresses don't even come in Full anymore. They wanted to "upgrade" me for free to a Queen, complete with a free Maple bed frame. I hated to explain that my bedroom set is a family heirloom, an antique, part of a four piece matching set, and worth at least eight grand. I don't think they really want to give me an upgrade to that. It'll be another two weeks for the Full, and they're giving me a discount instead. I'll take it.
As I settle into my home, I'm settling into my relationship as well. We have the oddest little things in common, which I love. We went camping recently, and he asked me how I like my marshmallows. I'm not really a lightly toasted kinda girl.....I prefer mine black and flaming. So does he. :) We both have spent over a year in a body cast. We share metal allergies. We were both raised in a rather different environment, away from television, and the popular media. We've both gone a long time between relationships. We both come from families where our parents had a significant age difference, the same as he and I, and our parents are/were both happily married.
We have our differences, of course. I understand *that* he loves mountain climbing, yet don't understand why. The more he describes it (with a cheerful smile and the warm glow of enthusiasm), the less I understand the appeal. There's a condition called HAPE - High Altitude Pulmonary something, where people's lungs explode like Rice Krispies - Snap, Crackle & Pop. It has something to do with the change in pressure, and you can literally hear pieces of their lungs bursting. And in the same breath where he is describing this, he'll talk about his dream of climbing Denali......a mountain high enough where they do research on HAPE because they are guaranteed a few cases a year of volunteer victims to study. I shake my head quietly, yet it is partially this kind of passion that is why I love this man.
It's not often a man can say he didn't notice I was short....I'm only five foot tall, yet the strength & magnitude of my personality were such that I actually had to point out to him that I'm little. He likes my laugh, my moxie, and my minor obsession with nail polish. In fact, my laugh was the first thing he noticed about me. We're really a good match, and have already talked about where we're headed and what we want out of life, and our relationship.
It's hard to put a label on that, yet I feel like we're unpacking the relationship the same way I'm unpacking boxes.....the more it opens up, the more it expands. His mother really likes me, and he's warned her to expect me to be around a long time. We talked about this the other night, and we're both pretty comfortable that we're likely headed towards marriage.
It seems funny to say that after only two months of dating, and yet - it's not a desperate, urgent feeling. It's just as if I've read the ending of the story, and am now going back through the opening chapters to see how we got there.
--BT
There are at least two that are called "Misc from bedroom floor", and two more threatening "To Be Filed 2002". I'm going to need a filing cabinet before I dare break the seal on those. They are safely ensconced in packing tape & cardboard right now, so I don't have to deal with them. "Photos and photo albums rest by a dresser. Pictures and craft items from basket in small bedroom" and "Embroidery from the computer room" surround it. Paintings and mirrors hide in the corner, along with my great grandparents wedding certificate (a beautiful piece about 18" x 25", from 1902).
I kind of live here now. I have magnets on my refrigerator, TP in the bathroom, wine in the cupboard, and books on the shelves. I've bought a few more things which will make this feel much more livable - another shelving unit for the bathroom for towels, storage containers for cat food & shelves for the kitchen cupboards to give me more usable space. I've even slept here a few times, although the bed has yet to arrive.
It was supposed to be delivered Saturday, but the manufacturer shipped the wrong size. I have an antique mahogany bed frame which requires a full - it used to be the standard, now it's an odd size. Some mattresses don't even come in Full anymore. They wanted to "upgrade" me for free to a Queen, complete with a free Maple bed frame. I hated to explain that my bedroom set is a family heirloom, an antique, part of a four piece matching set, and worth at least eight grand. I don't think they really want to give me an upgrade to that. It'll be another two weeks for the Full, and they're giving me a discount instead. I'll take it.
As I settle into my home, I'm settling into my relationship as well. We have the oddest little things in common, which I love. We went camping recently, and he asked me how I like my marshmallows. I'm not really a lightly toasted kinda girl.....I prefer mine black and flaming. So does he. :) We both have spent over a year in a body cast. We share metal allergies. We were both raised in a rather different environment, away from television, and the popular media. We've both gone a long time between relationships. We both come from families where our parents had a significant age difference, the same as he and I, and our parents are/were both happily married.
We have our differences, of course. I understand *that* he loves mountain climbing, yet don't understand why. The more he describes it (with a cheerful smile and the warm glow of enthusiasm), the less I understand the appeal. There's a condition called HAPE - High Altitude Pulmonary something, where people's lungs explode like Rice Krispies - Snap, Crackle & Pop. It has something to do with the change in pressure, and you can literally hear pieces of their lungs bursting. And in the same breath where he is describing this, he'll talk about his dream of climbing Denali......a mountain high enough where they do research on HAPE because they are guaranteed a few cases a year of volunteer victims to study. I shake my head quietly, yet it is partially this kind of passion that is why I love this man.
It's not often a man can say he didn't notice I was short....I'm only five foot tall, yet the strength & magnitude of my personality were such that I actually had to point out to him that I'm little. He likes my laugh, my moxie, and my minor obsession with nail polish. In fact, my laugh was the first thing he noticed about me. We're really a good match, and have already talked about where we're headed and what we want out of life, and our relationship.
It's hard to put a label on that, yet I feel like we're unpacking the relationship the same way I'm unpacking boxes.....the more it opens up, the more it expands. His mother really likes me, and he's warned her to expect me to be around a long time. We talked about this the other night, and we're both pretty comfortable that we're likely headed towards marriage.
It seems funny to say that after only two months of dating, and yet - it's not a desperate, urgent feeling. It's just as if I've read the ending of the story, and am now going back through the opening chapters to see how we got there.
--BT
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
The Sound Of Dolphins
Have you ever heard the sound dolphins make when they are chattering? Keep that in mind.
Three of us were talking today in the cube farm. One of my co-workers was describing the insane relationship her daughter was just getting out of....one where she discovered her husband was cheating on her, and the husband of the other woman called *her* wanting to discuss it. It reminded me of a boyfriend I had years ago.
He really was a great boyfriend, at least until....well, I'm getting ahead of myself. Very comfortable to be around, sexy, passionate, intelligent. I'd known three of his ex-girlfriends, met his kids, his niece, been to his house, hung out with him at events. Called him at work all the time, spent numerous evenings together. He knew most of my friends, hung out with my roommate. Things were going quite well.
So you can imagine my surprise when I discovered ON VALENTINE'S DAY that my boyfriend of eight months was *married*.
Upon hearing this, the other co-worker, Mel, clamped her hand over her mouth, and made this 'omigodomigodomigod' kind of squeal in a cross between shock & horror! One of the guys (who hadn't been involved in the convo) IM'd me "What was that? It sounded like dolphins!"
Now we know what the dolphins are saying......and why they laugh at us. :)
--BT
Three of us were talking today in the cube farm. One of my co-workers was describing the insane relationship her daughter was just getting out of....one where she discovered her husband was cheating on her, and the husband of the other woman called *her* wanting to discuss it. It reminded me of a boyfriend I had years ago.
He really was a great boyfriend, at least until....well, I'm getting ahead of myself. Very comfortable to be around, sexy, passionate, intelligent. I'd known three of his ex-girlfriends, met his kids, his niece, been to his house, hung out with him at events. Called him at work all the time, spent numerous evenings together. He knew most of my friends, hung out with my roommate. Things were going quite well.
So you can imagine my surprise when I discovered ON VALENTINE'S DAY that my boyfriend of eight months was *married*.
Upon hearing this, the other co-worker, Mel, clamped her hand over her mouth, and made this 'omigodomigodomigod' kind of squeal in a cross between shock & horror! One of the guys (who hadn't been involved in the convo) IM'd me "What was that? It sounded like dolphins!"
Now we know what the dolphins are saying......and why they laugh at us. :)
--BT
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