The Best Boyfriend I Never Had

Long ago and far, far away, back in the old BBS days, I was a member of a board called Chrysalis. In its heyday, it was a 64 line board that was *always* busy, with hundreds of active members that would redial for hours trying to get one line to free up. Unlike the anonymity of the Internet today, we all knew each other - in real life.

We had a weekly Lunch Bunch that met on Wednesdays. We had a regular group of 60+ that met at Denny's on Thursday nights, and anywhere from 20 to 100 of us would meet on the weekends at clubs, restaurants and bowling alleys across the Metroplex. We babysat each other's kids, girl-talked about the boys, gossiped about the girls, roasted newbies over an open fire and a number of people dated, mated and married amongst the Chrysalites. We even had t-shirts.

It was an odd time in my life - for about a year and a half, I was really popular. Everyone knew me. Everyone wanted to be where I was, wanted me to come to their parties, and hang out with me. And of course - they wanted to know everything about me. But I was (and am) a very private person, so I didn't talk online about who I was dating in real life.

One of the regulars was a guy named Kana, and rumor had it, we dated and were even engaged for three years. Rumor, however, was wrong. ;)

Around the time that we met, I had made the decision to move several thousand miles away. Life just wasn't working out for me there - I didn't like my job, had trouble with my roommates, my romantic life was going nowhere, and I just needed a new start. My brother lived on the West Coast, and after one vacation too many, he said "Why do you spend two weeks a year here and 50 weeks a year there, when you could do it the other way around?". So I decided to move.....but I needed time to save up, and prepare, so I actually gave my boss three months notice.

Kana was a good-looking guy, about my age, single, in good shape, great personality, olive skin, little bit of an accent, and all heart. He'd lived in Hawaii for a few years after getting out of the military, and opted to leave paradise for Texas, for reasons only he understood. He was single, but he had a policy - never get a new girlfriend until he'd paid off the credit cards from the last one. An admirable stance, to be sure.

That didn't stop him from flirting, however, and he was a popular guy at the weekly gettogethers. Ally and I often said, "I don't know who taught that boy how to hug, but someone should give her a medal". A good hug from him could last five minutes, and you just might want a cigarette afterwards. Whew! (fanning self)

It was not unusual for us to cuddle up in a booth, chattering and flirting away. He'd lean back into me, and I'd casually caress his arms or belly, enjoying the feel of taut muscles under smooth skin. So it's not surprising to me that people thought we were an item.

One Saturday afternoon, a girlfriend and I went shopping at one of the really ritzy malls in town. You have not been shopping until you've been shopping with Krystal. Holy Cow! That woman could get shopgirls running in six directions with a glance, and walk out not buying a THING. We perused furcoats, ostensibly for my mother who was taking a cruise to Alaska. We tried on $100/ounce makeup and $200/ounce perfume. Funny how the $500 shoes didn't quite fit right. Would have to think about those & come back. It was like playing dress up, only we were 28.

That night, Krystal, Kana, Ellen, me, Wynona, and a number of others were in a chatroom together. Ellen was home relaxing & grading homework. Kana had been out late late late on Friday night, so wanted to take it easy on Saturday. Wy had a bad crush on Kana, but he really wasn't interested in her - he just sidestepped the subject as often as possible to avoid hurting her feelings. We were talking about all the cool stuff that we had seen and done, and somehow the conversation turned to weddings.

Ellen talked about her previous marriage. Kana said he would love to get married on Black Diamond Drive in Hawaii, flying everyone in, spending at least $30,000 on the wedding. I was like, "Oh hell no! If there are more than 25 people there, I'm not entirely certain I'd show up!".

From that conversation, Wynona assumed that Kana and I were actually engaged - not just conversing about our ideal wedding scenario. We didn't plan it that way, but once we realized what was going on, we did not try to dissuade her from that notion. It served a purpose for us - it gave her a reason to back off, and leave Kana alone, and I didn't have to worry about meeting/dating anyone new, knowing that I was leaving the area.

He really was a great guy. When everyone else was saying, "Don't go! We'll miss you!", he was the only one who said "Go!". He understood why I had to go. He'd done it before, leaving Hawaii, and he knew it was what I needed. Had we met at a different place and time would we have dated? Perhaps. But for that moment, he was what I needed and vice versa.

And to think, I never saw him anywhere but Denny's. Who'd have thought?

--BT